Dealing with mum guilt?

Guest post from Kayla, Our Start

Let’s be honest ladies, being a working mum can be hard. We are constantly trying to find the perfect balance of doing a great job at work, caring for our children, and loving our husbands. And most days we feel like we’ve missed the mark entirely. What if I told you that you don’t have to toss your dreams to the wayside the minute you become a mother? Today we are discussing ways that you can achieve goals for both work and pleasure, while still making your family a priority.

Don’t Play The Guilt Game

It can be hard if you are a working mother, to not feel guilty that you are neglecting or leaving your family to work. That is a lie that you have put on yourself because of societal pressures, snarky comments from stay at home mums, and your own fear of missing out. You are doing a fantastic job as a mother, and I am sure your kids feel plenty loved. I know that as the daughter of a full-time working mother, that I never once felt anything less than loved.

My point is that you should not let anyone make you feel less than because you have goals and because you want to achieve above average results at your job. Half the battle of being a working mother is accepting that you can’t be super mum. But you can love your children and care for them the same way that a stay at home parent can.

Set Aside Some Time

If you are serious about trying to achieve some goals, work-related or personal, you need to take some time to pursue them. I know that this might be the time where you are thinking, well then I am out. I have absolutely no other time left in my day. But, that is not true. Everyone has time; they may just not be using it properly.

Ask your husband for help with some regular household chores, or to help get the kids up in the morning so that you can work for an extra half an hour. Your husband should be happy to support you, and this can be a great way to have him bond with your children even more. Think about the times during the week or weekend that you might have some freedom, and ask your husband if he would be willing to help out a little extra for an hour. You can even create a system with your husband, so that you both have times where you have a break from the kids, and can work on other goals.

Make A To-Do List

At the beginning of each month, practice making a to-do list. But, instead of making a list solely of what you have to do, try to add things that you want to do. For example, have a list each week of what you have to get done, like picking up the kids, work presentations, cooking dinner, etc. And then have a section set aside for more personal goals. Like finishing a book, working an extra half an hour, or accomplishing something small on your goal list. This can help you carve out time for what is really important.

Say No To Social Media

It can be so easy to waste away literally hours on our social media accounts every day. Instead of doing this, try to be more productive with your time. Set aside a certain amount of time that you want to engage with social media each day, and don’t exceed it. This should free up your nights and mornings considerably.

Be All There

Make the time you do have with your family, matter. I am not saying that you constantly need to be planning trips and getting your kids ice cream, but when you are with them, be all there. Don’t be checking your phone and text messages, distracted, or doing something else, be there. Be intentional during these times and your kids won’t feel like something is missing if you are gone.

Be Realistic

Realize that sadly, you just don’t have as much time to do things or achieve goals as someone who is single without a family. It’s just the truth. When you are setting goals, especially with the New Year just around the corner, don’t go over the top. Try to keep your list small, specific, and manageable. This way you will be able to celebrate how much you have accomplished, not disappointed that you didn’t get more completed.

Figure Out What Is Most Important

Yes, you should have dreams and goals outside of your family, but what is more important? Make sure that you don’t pass up quality time with your children to burn the midnight oil. Think about the things you don’t want to miss with your kids each day, like tucking them in, reading to them, or making breakfast, and don’t work during those times. That way you won’t be missing out on what matters most.

As you can see, being a working mother can feel like an impossible task sometimes. But, it doesn’t have to be. I hope that these tips can help you to get out there and have dreams, but still put your family first. You deserve to want more than just your family, but you don’t have to neglect them to get there.

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